I am telling you this one now while you have the courage to hear it. 

It is okay to want love. Love that commits life and body. Love that sticks and stays and shows affection while also learning and growing and giving space. It is okay to want that kind of love.

You’ve always shrugged it away. Figured you never needed it. Resolved that your independence was too important. And looked at others who sought it with a small-mindedness that only served to point an accusatory index-finger at your own insecurities. 

Oh, how often we humans use scorn to protect ourselves from insecurity.

It’s the easy road. Far better than confronting the reality that you’re scared. Scared that you are not good enough for love. 

I won’t try to tell you differently yet. But I will say: I hear you and I understand.

You are part of an ancient story where shame and selfishness have twisted words and actions to tell one little lie: You are not worthy. 

For millennia we humans have wanted love and believed ourselves not worthy. And the things we do to feel worthy breed a brokenness that perpetuates throughout generations. Believe me when I say, you are not alone. 

Of course, the company is not all that comforting when your own fears feel so unique and so isolated to that pale, pink muscle hidden within your skull. But neither is there any comfort in the sanctimoniousness that looks down the bridge of its nose to say: I don’t need love. 

To deny yourself the desire for love is to deny the way you were designed.

To want it, to hope for it, and to be open to it is to lean courageously and fully into a sacred purpose. And whether it comes your way or not, be confident that you never wished for it in vain. 

In the meantime, settle into learning of the love of the One who wove the longing into your being and who promises to fulfil it in the end.