I have a lot of interests.

I have an overwhelming love for reading and writing. I have a passion for promoting empathy, faith and positive self image. I’ve always wanted to write a blog or a book. I have a keen interest in social media. I really enjoy hiking and the wonder of nature. I have a deep appreciation for sharing and creating music and how playing the piano helps bring me down to earth when I feel like all my strings have been cut.

I could do any number of things with these interests but I haven’t, because I have a voice inside my head that lives at the front of my mind and constantly whispers:

I don’t know where to start. 

This phrase is a huge glass wall preventing me from trying anything outside of my comfort zone. Through it I can see a world of amazing possibilities, but when I start to lean against it, it shatters into tiny shards of doubts and insecurities that are far more sinister:

I’m afraid of what people will think.

I’m too unfit.

I’m not talented enough.

I’m flawed.

I hate exercise.

I can’t give this up.

I can’t handle rejection.

God’s forgotten about me.

I’m too scared of confrontation.

I don’t want to burn out.

I’m too tired.

I’m too busy.

I’ll just wait for an opportunity.

People won’t like me.

It’s not realistic.

It’s not safe.

I’ll fail.

I’ve tried before and failed.

There’s no point.

I don’t have anything to say.

My opinion doesn’t matter.

I’m content where I am.

I’m not organised enough.

It’s too hard to learn.

And it goes on. And on. And on.

But this is the truth:

Those doubts are lies.
I do know how to start.

With one step.

One change.

One fully committed decision.

It can be a terrifying prospect.

But I’m more terrified of the future that will happen if I don’t step out of my comfort zone and meet my fears head on.

Because in that future there is still a voice in my head and even though it would be pushed to the furthest corner of my mind, it whispers:

I know how this will end.